Just Say Yes

Nobody ever asks me for life advice, in a broad sense. Probably, nobody actually asks me for advice in any sense, now that I think about it, though I give it freely, and often. There are names for people like me, but there’s no need to dwell on those now…

It is the eve of our departure to the Land of the Long White Cloud, Aotearoa, the Maori name for New Zealand.  We will journey there to witness the marriage of our oldest son, and his Kiwi bride.  It has been decreed that we will all speak at the event: my husband, my youngest son, and I.  I have forewarned all concerned that although I never lack for words, emotion usually gets the best of me, and to ask me to speak at such a momentous occasion is high risk.  The request to make a speech is tantamount to asking me to give life advice, so that invitation, I have readily accepted.  I can only hope that someone will take pity on me, and just read it aloud in my stead.

Tonight is also the perfect night to share my life philosophy, because this evening, probably right about the time I get around to posting this message, marks the thirty-eighth anniversary of the moment I knew where my life was headed, and more importantly, who I was going to share it with.  Eight hours into our first date, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I had met my husband, and the father of my children.  The tiny seed of a life partnership was planted that day, and my dream of a strong marriage, children, and a close extended family has come to fruition, and continues to grow into a life that is ripe with blessings, our children being the richest of those blessings.  With this new union, the branches of our family tree will grow broader, but it all started with a large leap of faith, and one small word, which leads to my philosophy of life (to this point, at least), and is very simple:

Just say yes.

When you are most afraid, because the risks are great, say yes.  When you send a message out into the universe, and the answer comes back, even if it is not the message you were expecting, say yes.  Give out your number (the right one).  Respond to messages, with all the truth you can muster.   Reach out a hand, even when you know that if someone takes that hand, you will be expected to fulfill the offer of help.  Fulfill that promise, then offer more.

Say yes to a first impression, a gut feeling, a long shot.  Say yes to the opportunity to make a second impression, and a third.  Say yes to the attempts by others to make new impressions, and be willing to change the filters through which you see.

Be willing to grow.  Be willing to let others grow.  Expect change, in yourself, and everyone around you, and welcome change.  A forest is full of trees that all seek the light, and way must be made for each, in its own time.  Provide shade when needed,  adjust to share the sun, and put roots firmly down, but reach for the heights.  Lean on others, and let others lean on you, and weave your roots together, to provide strength in times of need.  Put yourself out there, create community, find others who share your visions.

Say yes to commitment.  Live with intention.  Lose the words “I’ll try”, because the intention behind them dissipates as quickly as they are spoken.  Similarly, “I will do my best” should be avoided.  Doing your best should be a given, always, and those words lose their meaning when overused.  Say “I will”, and mean it.  Say “I do”, and live it.  Follow the preachings of Yoda:  “Do or do not…there is no try.”  Say yes to challenge, say yes to the possibility of failure. Say yes to the strength it will take to keep promises.

“Lean in” is nice, but lacks energy and verve.  Don’t just lean in, dive in.  Stand at the edge, raise up your arms, thrust out your chest, and swan dive in.  Take chances, take leaps of faith. Even when you can’t see the landing…especially if you can’t see the landing, dive in.

Say yes to the promise of something new, something difficult, something worth working for, for the rest of your life. Say yes, even knowing that saying yes to something good will bring with it its share of tears, pain, and moments of suffering.  Say yes to the growth that those moments will bring, because they will make the moments that shine with joy more meaningful.

Say yes to tolerance, humor, understanding, compassion, sharing and loving.  Say yes to baggage, say yes to pasts, say yes to package deals.

Say yes to a first date, because it could lead to a lifelong partnership.  Say yes to an offer of a call back from a random meeting in a chat room, because it could lead to a lifelong conversation.  Say yes if an opportunity to experience another part of the world presents itself, and be willing to make the move. Pack only what you need to survive, then build a life from there.  Say yes to love, say yes to chance, say yes to magic and fate and spirit and the wisdom of the universe.  Say yes to faith in the path you are taking.  Say yes with a smile, say thank you to a world in which yes is a possibility.  Say yes to the rest of your life.

Just say yes.

 

*Star Wars, Episode V, “The Empire Strikes Back”